I was struck by her outlook. I hope that this is my ongoing experience, but frankly, I'm prepared for some mixed emotions. It's not pretty, but I'm aware that I may feel pangs of a little thing called JEALOUSY. Jealous of a perfectly executed detail I wished I'd incorporated. Jealous of a font I hadn't discovered. Jealous of an adorable favor. Jealous of a song that conveys a feeling more perfectly than one I used. Jealous of some amazing trend that simply didn't exist in 2010.
And it's not just the after thoughts or the small things. Brides are bound to experience jealousy at all phases of their planning process. It's one of those things you have to accept. Someone will always have a more forgiving budget, a more sparkly ring, more thoughtful details, a better tasting cake, or just bigger, better, more something...
From a clinical standpoint, it is hard not to compare. We do it all the time. It's natural. When we don't understand something we explain it through comparison and metaphor. "Well, it's kind of like this..." But when we do it to ourselves, it gets into more difficult emotional territory. We make value judgments, we tear ourselves and others down, we second guess our choices, and we ultimately do nothing positive.
I genuinely look forward to attending weddings after my own. And I hope that I will enjoy them without the knee-jerk reaction to hold my wedding as a means of comparison. Do you share my fear? Moreover, isn't there an immense amount of pressure on brides these days?
