Friday, March 12, 2010

Our Life Partners

One of the things that continues to amaze me about Weddingbee is the collective phenomenal talent and diversity of interests of the bees.  How fun were photography lover Miss Hot Wings' Modeling Tips? And if I ever want to train for a marathon, Trail Mix is my girl. Amazing up-do? I'm calling Miss Nachos. Rustic perfection? Mrs. Cowboy Boot. The sewing talent of Miss Sewing and Miss Poodle is ridiculous, and Mrs. Cupcake can be my graphic designer any day. Don't even get me started on the DIY genius that abounds around the 'bee. It's uh-mazing.

So, what do I bring to the table? Well, I am a Marriage and Family Therapist after all!


So where to start? Let's see... Well, one thing that each of us have in common is that we have selected a partner. In life, partner selection is arguably the single most important decision we make. It is not to be taken lightly, as relationships largely dictate our highest highs and our lowest lows. The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility - good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both sincerely want the relationship to succeed (been there, done that).

Laughter is one clue to compatibility. It tells you how much you will enjoy each other’s company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world.

Look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can’t accept, you will inevitably come to resent them. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually, the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner approaches life. What are their goals? What are their ambitions? What are their expectations of you? How do they manage the unknown?

Keep in mind that differences are natural, even favorable. Of course, no two people should be excessively similar, nor should they be polar opposites. Considering these thoughts on choosing a life partner, which ones speak to you most - the bond of your laughter? Your world view? Your life goals? A little of each?
 

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