My 3-Stone Love Affair

Three months into our engagement I opened a big, icky, stinky can of worms. One Saturday, Mr. Seashell and I had plans to meet with the jeweler who made my engagement ring to begin the process of making our wedding bands. Let's preface this by saying that I loved my engagement ring. My fiancee did a stellar job. My ring is a 1.6 carat, D color, oval set on a simple platinum band. What is especially cool is that the jeweler cut the diamond from the original stone and made the setting from scratch.

(Personal Photo)

That's the actual raw stone!

Which later became this:

(Personal Photo)

Initially, Mr. Seashell wanted to give me a three stone ring. We had both discussed the idea and agreed that we liked loved the way they looked. However, the jeweler who cut the diamond said that it was an injustice to the beauty of the stone to put anything beside it. So, at the time of purchase Mr. Seashell was convinced adding side stones was a huge mistake. (Side note: I was unaware of this conversation)

Fast forward a few months to an evening where we met a few friends for drinks at a bar. I met a few new people that night, among them a sweet girl named Laura who had recently gotten married. And she was flashing a killer 3 stone ring. I made a comment to my fiancee that "she had a gorgeous ring". That was all. Then, anticipating that I was going to stir the pot, the next morning I asked my fiancee if we could consider the possibility of adding side stones to my ring.

HOLY (silent) MELTDOWN. There was no yelling, no tears, but a clear sense that I had crossed a serious line of ungratefulness. I had hurt Mr. Seashell's feelings - big time. Moreover, it exposed some deeper-seeded insecurities about our socio-economical upbringings. His family are quintessential hard-working middle classers, while I was raised in an environment where money was of less concern. Questions started to rise like, "Is nothing ever good enough for you?" and "How can I be everything you want?"... Oh, goodness. It turned into a big emotional conversation.

After all was said and done, my fiancee reiterated to me our jeweler's recommendation. He also agreed in not wanting to overshadow the beauty of the stone. But, at the risk of sounding spoiled, a 3 stone was what we both had our eye on from the beginning. In my heart I didn't think I was out of line, but I can absolutely understand why he was hurt. An engagement ring is no small purchase and he most definitely put a lot of thought and love into it, which has not gone unnoticed. But was it ridiculous of me to say that maybe it's not about what the jeweler thinks, but about what I want?

So what was a girl to do? Should I have just keep my mouth shut and drop my dream for a 3-stone, or risk hurting my fiancees feelings (yet again) at our appointment with the jeweler?