My Very Own "Modern Family"

Hands down ABC's Modern Family is one of the best shows on TV. At least Mr. Seashell and I think so. If you're not watching, you're missing out. It's HILARIOUS!

 

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Perhaps I enjoy the show because I can relate to having a family that's less than conventional. Where to start? Let's see, circa 1975 my parents were married: Dad Seashell an upper class African American man and Mama Seashell a working class Italian American woman. After years of trying to (unsuccessfully) conceive I was adopted, and four years after that my sister was adopted as well. Soon after my sister was born, we came to learn that she was mentally disabled.

 

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So, I introduce to you my family in all our black, white, adopted, and disabled glory! Aren't we cute? 

As a bride to be, having a unique family truly comes to life. Day to day, we are who we are, but at life's milestones it seems remarkably special to remember the adversity my parents overcame to celebrate their own wedding day as well as integrate our cultures and traditions. For example,  we are working to infuse our wedding with elements from Mama Seashell's Italian culture, Dad Seashell's family history on St. Thomas, and adapt pieces of the day to my sister's abilities. (And I haven't even gotten started on ways we'll include Mr. Seashell's family!)

What sets your family apart? How have you worked to embrace this on your wedding day?

Dripping in Pearls

Not too long ago I got an email from one of my Wedding Elves (i.e. Mama Seashell or FMIL) that said, "I'm Dripping in Pearls! 8 containers x 66ft!" with this photo attached:

 

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Explanation? Sure. One of the classic decorations on our family Christmas tree were always multiple strands of dangling pearls. Look closely - you can kind of see them in the background...

 

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Inspired by this idea, I mentioned to Mama Seashell and FMIL that I wanted to duplicate this look on our wedding centerpieces. My thought was to track down a giant strand of pearls and cut them in varying lengths, add hooks, and give them to the florist to decorate as she saw fit. See the photo below for inspiration, and picture it with pearls and flowers!

 

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Do you think this will work? Do you have any abstract-ish ideas that you're hoping to make into reality?

E-Pics!

Here are some of our lovely and amazing engagement photos from Blink of an Eye Photography! When I got the e-mail from our photographer that they were up on her blog, I forwarded the link around and then picked up the phone and yelled "They're up! They're up! Check your e-mail!" to Mr. Seashell, my parents and my future in-laws. We all simultaneously went crazy, because they exceeded our expectations. Enjoy!

 

It was especially important to capture a "Chicago" vibe, since we live in the city but will be married in Rhode Island. I think we achieved our goal! What elements were most important in your e-pics?

Keeping the Dress, Swapping the Shoes

It seems an increasing number of brides are opting to switch out of their ceremony dress and dance the night away in a reception dress. I'm doing the equivalent for my feet!

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Basically, I'm generally a hot mess in heels. I'm pretty tall (5'9") so I don't wear them on a regular basis. On the occasion I do wear heels, I end up with bloody heels, oozy blisters, or scraped knees because I've taken a tumble. It's classy.

So, yeah, I'm a flats girl. I love my Tory Burch's. I own more pairs than I'd like to admit, and it's all too fitting that I rock a pair on my wedding day. My current quest is to find a pair in velvet aubergine. If not, the shiny purple ones will do just fine.

Here's the plan: my wedding shoes are Stuart Weitsman's "Gigiritz" which I found at zappos.com for $298. My specifications were pretty simple: good quality (i.e. I was willing to splurge a bit), under 3" heel and dyeable. I'm going to have them dyed a rich purple to match my bridesmaids dresses. After the ceremony and photos, I'll slip on my Tory Burch's and savor comfy feet all night!

Are you trading your heels for flats at some point during your wedding?

Attempting an Inspriation Board

I thought creating an Inspiration Board would be one of those simple little things I could easily throw together as a fun way to reflect our wedding style. WRONG. It was really challenging to find a combination of pictures that convey the "feel" we are trying to achieve!

It's not perfect (and I may play with it a little more over time) but, for now, here's my Inspiration Board!

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Invitation, Dresses, Pillow, Couple 

Sign, Chandelier, Bouquet, Shoes, Pansies, Pearls, Cake

Did you create an Inspiration Board? Did the elements fall into place, or was it hard to get it to reflect your style?

Oh, Invitations. Invitations are my favorite.

I am a firm believer that paper sets the tone for an event. An invitation hits at style, suggests a vibe, and can imply formality or casualness. They can be playful, ornate, classic, sophisticated, embossed, letterpress...oh, the options are endless! I think many brides consider invitations a lighter decision as compared to the dress, venue, flowers, guest list, etc. Not me. I love paper THAT much.

Now, I have managed to make most of the larger decisions. And I'm thankful that I don't have to decide on my just yet. I need more time - this is huge for me, hive!

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I have spent hours and hours pouring over binders like these in addition to sites like: weddingpaperdivas, etsy, hellolucky, oliostyle, blushpaperie, minted, milkmaidpress, elliellc, cardstore, moderngirlinvitations, papeteriestore. I'm not there yet, but I know my perfect invites are out there somewhere!

Are you a paper lover? Was your invitation selection an easy process?

You Shouldn't Have (But I'm Glad You Did!)

I reorganized my desk today and pulled open the box that I used to save our engagement cards. There must be at least a hundred cards in there! How lucky can we be to have such love and support from our wonderful friends and family? I'm just taking a moment to feel thankful...

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Do you have moments where you're reminded what it's all about? What are you thankful for?

The Organized (Modern) Bride

I always thought I'd be the kind of bride lugging one of these things around everywhere I went:

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But, alas, I haven't so much as bought one wedding organizing anything. It's so not me! I imagined papers, receipts, and magazine snipets clogging a (neatly) overstuffed wedding binder. I just adore folders, labels, paper clips, and ultra fine point sharpies. The just make me smile. I'm smiling as I write this.

So where's all my "stuff" you ask? Right here:

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Notice the purple?

Jump drive: the perfect solution for a traveling bride. I've got the gazillion photos I've pulled from various blogs and websites, copies of all of our vendor contracts, our guest list on an excel sheet, engagement photos, etc backed up in one place. I take it with me every time I know I'm going to see someone who is going to want to see my latest wedding ideas!

Do you have all your wedding "stuff" in one place?

Yeah, I'm obsessed

..with our wedding photographer. Literally. Truly, madly, hopelessly obsessed. I looooooove her.

It all started in 2006. A girl in my sorority (a few pledge classes behind me whom I barely knew) got married and posted a link to her wedding slideshow on facebook. It was phenomenal. Being a girl who never cries, I knew something was up when the photos left me teary-eyed. Next, I found the link to the photographer's blog and took a peek from time to time. The talent behind the camera was Carmen Nauseef from Blink of an Eye Photography.

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Time passed, and as it became more clear to me that my then-boyfriend now-fiancee and I were heading toward marriage, I decided that I didn't just want Carmen to photograph our wedding I had to have her photograph the wedding. Of course, I looked at other vendors, and it's probably worth mentioning that she's located in Dayton, Ohio. (We live in Chicago and the wedding is being held in Rhode Island. Oopsies.)

I sent along an email asking if she was willing to travel. She was more than willing, and aside from covering travel expenses her prices were the same as the ordinarily would be. I shared Carmen's blog with my parents and gave them her pricing information as they were the ones paying for the photography. Our agreement was this: my parents believed that talented photographers exist in the Boston/Providence area, so if my heart was set on Carmen then I could take on her travel expenses and they would pay for the actual photography service. A perfect compromise!

So yes, I'll gladly admit that flying a photographer to Providence (and Chicago for engagement photos) is probably a little over the top. But to me it is worth every penny. My argument is this: after all is said and done, the most tangible memory you have of your wedding day are the photographs. And moreover, I knew I would always have a lingering "what if" if I chose someone else.

What was your most extravagant wedding decision? Do you have a vendor you're hopelessly obsessed with?

Proposing to my 'Maids

I love the trend of brides finding a special way to "propose" to their bridesmaids! When I decided to ask my girls, I hadn't heard much of the idea. In fact, I thought I was so cute and original (pat self on back). Original or not, I think it's wonderfully thoughtful and sweet.

Here's what I came up with: Simple white boxes from Paper Source stuffed with purple tissue paper, clippings from bridal magazines, ghiradelli chocolate squares, and personal notes with hand stamped gold sparkly rings asking each girl to be a bridesmaid.

 

Did you propose to your bridesmaids in a unique way? How did you do it?

Weddingbee, You Made Me Do It

After all of the gorgeous ring photos I've seen on Weddingbee boards, I finally caved. I've always loved photography and I decided my bling was deserving of some camera time. So here it is: my ring's Glamor Shot!

Did you take any artistic shots of your ring? Did you feel as silly as I did doing so? :)

My 3-Stone Love Affair

Three months into our engagement I opened a big, icky, stinky can of worms. One Saturday, Mr. Seashell and I had plans to meet with the jeweler who made my engagement ring to begin the process of making our wedding bands. Let's preface this by saying that I loved my engagement ring. My fiancee did a stellar job. My ring is a 1.6 carat, D color, oval set on a simple platinum band. What is especially cool is that the jeweler cut the diamond from the original stone and made the setting from scratch.

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That's the actual raw stone!

Which later became this:

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Initially, Mr. Seashell wanted to give me a three stone ring. We had both discussed the idea and agreed that we liked loved the way they looked. However, the jeweler who cut the diamond said that it was an injustice to the beauty of the stone to put anything beside it. So, at the time of purchase Mr. Seashell was convinced adding side stones was a huge mistake. (Side note: I was unaware of this conversation)

Fast forward a few months to an evening where we met a few friends for drinks at a bar. I met a few new people that night, among them a sweet girl named Laura who had recently gotten married. And she was flashing a killer 3 stone ring. I made a comment to my fiancee that "she had a gorgeous ring". That was all. Then, anticipating that I was going to stir the pot, the next morning I asked my fiancee if we could consider the possibility of adding side stones to my ring.

HOLY (silent) MELTDOWN. There was no yelling, no tears, but a clear sense that I had crossed a serious line of ungratefulness. I had hurt Mr. Seashell's feelings - big time. Moreover, it exposed some deeper-seeded insecurities about our socio-economical upbringings. His family are quintessential hard-working middle classers, while I was raised in an environment where money was of less concern. Questions started to rise like, "Is nothing ever good enough for you?" and "How can I be everything you want?"... Oh, goodness. It turned into a big emotional conversation.

After all was said and done, my fiancee reiterated to me our jeweler's recommendation. He also agreed in not wanting to overshadow the beauty of the stone. But, at the risk of sounding spoiled, a 3 stone was what we both had our eye on from the beginning. In my heart I didn't think I was out of line, but I can absolutely understand why he was hurt. An engagement ring is no small purchase and he most definitely put a lot of thought and love into it, which has not gone unnoticed. But was it ridiculous of me to say that maybe it's not about what the jeweler thinks, but about what I want?

So what was a girl to do? Should I have just keep my mouth shut and drop my dream for a 3-stone, or risk hurting my fiancees feelings (yet again) at our appointment with the jeweler?

Preparing the Wedding Hair

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Ok, maybe I'm not quite here yet! (This was taken when I was getting my hair done for one of my BM's weddings in May 2009). My hair trials won't start until sometime in June 2010. In the meantime I am collecting lots of ideas of course! Below are just a few of many...

  

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But back to the point: a few months ago, my hair was quite light brown/blonde and not all that long. Very soon after our engagement, I decided to begin the process of preparing my "Wedding Hair". As one of my bridesmaids advised, "You'll probably want your hair in your engagement photos to look pretty similar in color to what you're going to have on your wedding day". Amen for good friends! So, I walked into the salon a blonde and walked out a rich chestnut with copper highlight brunette!

Before & After:

 

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Did you change your hair color in preparation for your engagement photos and wedding?

Embracing Fall Details

Disclaimer: I can take no credit for any of this DIY wonderfulness! My FMIL is a crafting genius.

Initially my FMIL was going to make a ring pillow using lace from my Aunt's veil. While searching for inspiration, I found this beautiful ring pillow on Etsy (which I now call "crack for brides"). I simply adore it. It has the perfect blend of the ivory and gold tones and the leaves are a lovely subtle fall detail. I decided to go ahead and buy it and we're going to wrap the pillow in the lace from my Aunt to make something really beautiful and meaningful! I'll post photos once that project is complete.

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Then, my FMIL came up with a FANTASTIC idea. Using the inspiration of the leaves from the ring pillow she created larger leaves hand cut from a paper/cardboard that we will use to decorate each pew end in the chapel. Here is the first one she has cut:

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The next step is to spray them metallic gold. (I think I can at least handle that step - fingers crossed.) They are going to look fantastic! She's so talented! Also, I'll be sure to post a tutorial as we cut more.

Do you have someone crafty who is helping with some DIY projects?

Making It Work (Bridesmaid Dresses Part II)

Shockingly, after all my distress and reasoning for having the girls pick their own dresses, they actually asked that I give specific guidelines. Silly me, all that worry over nothing. Go figure. So, first stop: JCrew.

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Color: Sweet Thistle

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Color: Spiced Wine

Pretty, but no. The "sweet thistle" is too spring-y and the "spiced wine" is definitely not a rich purple. Next? Ann Taylor. Struck out: no purple.

Then I made an appointment at Bella Bridesmaids. It was a great salon, the people were sweet, they had a good selection of dresses but I just wasn't didn't find anything that made me think, "Perfect!"

Then I found Anna Elyse. Hello, gorgeous! Beautiful shades of purple, amazing variety, nice sense of cohesion. Love it!!!

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 And wait - Bella Bridesmaids carries their line? How did I not see these lovelies? I immediately called my local store and asked about Anna Elyse dresses. They explained they're temporarily not being stocked due to an ongoing problem with the cut of the bustline. I guess that explains it, so I was back to the drawing board...

But then, little did I know, the best was yet to come. How was it possible that I did not know of the amazing world of Dessy? OMG! Bridesmaid dress heaven! I immediately took to the style boards, put together ideas, and emailed my girls this as the inspiration for their dresses:

Perfection achieved! Unique, richly colored for fall, and simply beautiful! My email to my bridesmaids was most definitely appropriately titled "Dress Nirvana!" Was finding your bridesmaid dresses a big moment?

Making It Work (Bridesmaid Dresses Part I)

To date, everything wedding-wise has fallen into place amazingly well. Decisions have generally been easy to make, and when an idea or inspiration has popped into my head I've been able to find a way to execute it. When something hasn't quite worked, I've been able to find a solution or an even-better alternative. Bridesmaid dresses, however, have somehow proven to be tricky. And I've come to realize a lot of it has to do with my own emotions.

I had initially gravitated toward the idea of putting my bridesmaids in black because I loved the idea of having them each pick their own dress. Better yet, they could even pull something from their closet if that was easier. Purple made this a little more challenging, but I was still under the impression that I could just tell my girls to find a purple dress. (Think Mrs. Bear Cub's Letting the 'Maids Dress Themelves)

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Here was my reasoning:
1. I fundamentally like the idea of collectively unique dresses.
2. The concept of bridesmaid dresses seems kind of funny to me. What do the matching dresses symbolize, anyway? I feel funny if the implication is that they're actually my "maids".
3. Each of my girls are quite different, and I felt challenged by the idea of finding something that would work for everyone equally well.
4. Financially, it offers them the option of purchasing something wherever they are comfortable.
5. Maybe they will actually wear the dress again!

(and here's where we get into sticky stuff)

6. I fear snarkiness, and don't want my girls to secretly hate what I choose. And worse, discuss it behind my back.
7. I don't want any of my girls to be uncomfortable or self-conscious in any way. I hate that feeling. I want them to feel beautiful.
8. I don't want my girls to be happy, I need them to be happy. If I know they're upset, it will make me feel terrible.
9.  I don't want to be high-maintenence, bossy, or (gasp!) a bridezilla.

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Has a closer look at your reasoning for doing something ever revealed an insecurity?

My Favorite "Drive By"

Oh, swoon... There is an Event Planning company (A Perfect Event - 3050 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago) just around the corner from where I live. Every time I drive by I try to take in every aspect of their amazingly gorgeous window displays. I'll even admit that I've gone a bit out of my way just for a glimpse of beauty to brighten my day!

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And then this was one from just today!

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I love, love, love them! Do you have any places like this that constantly inspire you?