As Mr. Seashell and I settle into married life, I've started to realize there's something I need to get better at: letting go. I'm learning to let go of me and embrace we.
My independence is of paramount importance. That's partially a tribute to how I was raised, and partially speaks to how I operate in the world. If I decided I want to do something, up until recently, I was just going to go ahead and do it. The idea of asking someone for their feedback didn't feel romantic, it felt childish. I struggled greatly with moving from me to we.
Mr. Seashell, on the other hand, embraced the we from the start. Being part of a team clicked for him immediately. "Checking in" over the purchase of a sweater didn't feel disempowering, it was for the greater good of our future, finances, and he actually liked my input. (That's probably a silly example, but a perfect one - the idea of asking someone if I could buy a sweater makes me batty as a grown, working woman. I have to ask you if I can buy a sweater?! This is a conversation?)
There have been many instances where I have had to challenge myself to "let go" of my previous mode of operating, and accept that I am now part of something greater than myself.
Has becoming a we been a process for you too?
