One Shell Of A Wedding! : The Welcome Party

While we were busy rehearsing, Mr. Seashell and I organized a "Welcome Party" for our out of town guests to attend. Since they were arriving at different times throughout the weekend we planned an event for later in the evening on Friday. We offered dessert, drinks and coffee in the penthouse of the hotel with the intent of letting our guests grab dinner as they pleased, but also with enough time to see everyone after we were done rehearsing.

It worked out perfectly - we were able to have the smaller, more intimate rehearsal we desired and also the warm, large, invite-everyone party as part of the evening too.

Speaking of those arriving guests, when they were greeted at the hotel they found...

Out of Town Boxes!

The boxes came together as a major group effort. Mr. Seashell's Mom did the majority of the work leading up to the wedding. She stained the boxes with a paint brush to make them more "golden" and then hand stamped the leaf pattern (which we also used on our programs), chose the ribbon, and designed the box labels. Then Mr. Seashell's Mom and I made all of the "detail" labels together. After she passed, we discovered that everything for the boxes had been prepped and ready to be shipped to Providence. (Like, she had pre-cut each and every purple ribbon for all 75 boxes. Unreal, right?) Mama Seashell took them to Providence and purchased additional supplies - the SunChips, Shout Wipes, and retrieved Providence Brochures. Additionally, Mr. Seashell's Mom's childhood best friend baked homemade cookies (that FMIL Seashell had intended to include) in her memory. Last, once we were all in Providence Mr. Seashell and FIL Seashell assembled and had the boxes ready for our guests' arrival! PHEW!

Back to the party! By this point in the evening I had given up on picture taking, so I don't have many visuals to share. I can tell you this, though: it was a great end to the night. It was the first time I had seen the majority of our out of town guests and it was a treat to welcome everyone with smiles and hugs.

After making the rounds saying hi to  everyone, I had some camera time with my girls.

{look close - you can see the necklace from FIL Seashell}

We took the opportunity to recreate one of our favorite college photos. We lovingly called the original "the sandwich".

{2010}

{2004}

I finally felt like my usual self. My head was clear. I was surrounded by my friends, family, soon-to-be husband...all was right in the world. As the hour approached midnight I teased Mr. Seashell that it was almost September 25 and I couldn't see him on our wedding day! He agreed the day had been long, and drove me back to my parent's house.

While we were driving we joked about how we felt like teenagers - getting dropped off at home before midnight and then I joked that we might be able to sneak a kiss in the driveway without my parents noticing. We pulled up to the house and Mr. Seashell walked over to me as I went to get out of the car. He said, "I know you wanted me to kiss you a certain way on the altar tomorrow." And he pulled me in close. There, in my parent's driveway we kissed. He dipped me back - it had to be romantic, but not dramatic or too over-done  - we got it just right. There I was, standing in the driveway where I'd ran through sprinklers in the summer, taken the car out for my first drive alone, left for prom, posed for graduation photos, and now practicing my "first kiss" with my almost husband. It was surreal. He took my hand and walked me over to the back porch. The next time we saw each other it would be our wedding day.

Previously in the Seashell Wedding:

• One Shell of a Wedding! : Two Days Before
• One Shell of a Wedding! : The Day Before
• One Shell of a Wedding! : We Rehearse

One Shell Of A Wedding! : We Rehearse

So, when we last left off I was in a state of panicked anxiety and Mama Seashell mentioned "she might have something for me". Exact details aside, let's just say by the time I was rehearsing for our wedding I was slightly sedated. Praise pharmacology. 

After seeing each other for the first time since arriving to Providence, I ran to Mr. Seashell and the words fall out of my mouth: "I've been so spazzed out that I had to drug myself." I hugged him so tight it was unreal. Normal Mr. Seashell would have made some comment about how reassured he was about my mental state prior to our nuptials. However, he admits its taken him 4 drinks to feel sober. What? The beauty of nerves. So glad we're both doing so well at this point.

Our blissful reunion aside, our wedding party had gathered in the chapel. (What? There were other people there too?)

From the front of the chapel Reverend Nancy starts directing the crowd. Her advice is to first line everyone up to where they'll be standing during the ceremony. So, we did the recessional first.

Everyone takes their spots and prepares to exit.

Nancy looks happy that we've all managed to listen to some basic directions. Yay us!

Now the show really begins. Mr. Seashell takes is official "mark".

The bridal party gathers in the rear of the chapel.

Mama Seashell and FIL Seashell practice their entrance.

Here comes the (sedated) bride!

Mr. Seashell's cousins take direction on overseeing the ring passing.

We prepare for our vows.

And that's that!

Knowing the next day would be quite busy, Reverend Nancy decides we'll save time and get our marriage license signed the day before. Then she made me pinky swear we'd go through with the wedding the next day. We promised.

Sister Seashell was excited to fulfill her MOH duties.

...and then we were off to eat!

The dinner was wonderful - lots of delicious food, laughter, toasts, and celebration. 

After everyone had dinner Mr. Seashell presented his groomsmen with their gifts and we shared our slideshow with the group. We thanked our friends and family for their love and support and gave gifts to our parents as well as our godparents (who were doing readings during our ceremony) and Mr. Seashell's cousins who were ushering and facilitating our ring passing. Mr. Seashell's father made a toast and acknowledged the love and hard work FMIL Seashell had put into coordinating the rehearsal dinner before her passing. In fact, she handmade and mailed these beautiful invitations just days before she suddenly passed.

After FIL Seashell's toast he approached me with a small box. As soon as I opened it I knew exactly what it was; I'd seen it in the days after FMIL had passed away. My eyes filled with tears, and then I just let myself cry. I put my head in my hands and full out started sobbing. FIL Seashell put his hand on my back, leaned in and said, "I gave this to Justine on our wedding day. I can't imagine anyone having it but you". "I know, I know" was all I could get out. I finally pulled myself together and gave him a hug. We stood there, at the end of the restaurant, crying. I don't usually give into my emotions like that, but in that moment the reality of our loss hit hard. It is a gift I will forever treasure.

As we wrapped up our rehearsal and dinner, our guests were partying elsewhere....up next!


Previously in the Seashell Wedding:

One Shell of a Wedding! : Two Days Before
One Shell of a Wedding! : The Day Before

One Shell Of A Wedding! : The Day Before

(Alternative Post Title: I Totally Have an Anxiety Attack)

It was the day before the wedding. At this point, things are starting to get pretty unbelievable to me. Bridesmaid Ashley arrived that morning (so all my girls were there! yay!), Mr. Seashell kept texting that the hotel was filling up with our guests, and there was just this general buzz in the air that the show was on the road!

We were off for manis, pedis and a Bridesmaids Luncheon. Since we practically filled the salon (Angel Nails on Wayland Square for you locals) I let my girls go first. I ran back and fourth to Starbucks a few times to keep everyone fed and caffeinated. Frankly, I was also trying to jog off my nerves on my laps around the corner. This was it! This was the wedding weekend!

Next, I was on deck next with Mama Seashell, Auntie Brenda, and Holly (Bridesmaid Carrie's Mom). At this point, I was happy and excited but also slowly unraveling in my bridal anxiety. Part of me is jumping out of my skin with thoughts like, "Dude, this is your pedicure for YOUR WEDDING!" And then my stomach would make this massively creepy noise.

After our manis and pedis we headed just a few doors down to Red Stripe restaurant. I was initially planning on hosting this "Bridesmaids Luncheon" but just a few weeks before my lovely sister sent out invites indicating that she was the hostess! Too cute!

I took the opportunity to present my lovely ladies with their bridesmaids gifts. They liked them.

{I started chugging water thinking it would calm my nerves. I should have gone for chugging wine.}

{Sister Seashell painted me a picture! A seashell!}

So, we had a lovely lunch. But during this time things for me went south. Literally. I was in and out of the bathroom no less than 7 times. My stomach was a mess, and so was my head. I'd never had an anxiety attack before but I'm pretty sure I could say I did that day. When someone was talking to me I could engage in conversation, but then when I was listening my mind was just buzzing. It literally felt like my brain was vibrating inside my head. When I'd turn my head, it took a minute for my vision to catch up. Everything was fuzzy. I. Was. Losing. It. Heart racing, sweaty palms, the whole she-bang.

After our lunch, I hugged my posse goodbye. They were off to the hotel to relax and then get ready for the rehearsal. I had an appointment to go to the hair salon to get a blowout and have my hair "prepped" for the wedding. Mama Seashell joined me and had her hair done as well.

I got situated in the chair and pulled out all the therapist tricks I could recall. I tried to ground myself in the present: "You are sitting in a chair. Your feet are pressed firmly against a bar. Your hands are on your knees. You are calm and safe..." I took a normal breath in, and pushed a loooooong breath out (to engage my sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous systems). I talked myself through my thoughts and feelings. I meditated. I reminded myself of all the things that were set into motion and going beautifully thus far.

OMIGOD NONE OF IT EFFING WORKED.

I could not calm my mind and body down. My heart was not racing, it was fluttering. Flutter, flutter, flutter. Dizzy. In that moment I learned a valueable lesson. When you're dealing with something physiological, it might not be possible for your mind to overpower the body. I was just straight up freaking out. (Side note: the next day when I came back to the salon the staff joked with me that they thought I was on the brink of fainting. Thanks guys.)

After my not-at-all-relaxing blow out I got in the car with my Mom. With tears in my eyes I told her that I was unraveling. Worst of all, I just simply wasn't having fun - I couldn't. All my friends were here, it was the day before the wedding, everything was happening, and I wasn't even able to hold a coherent conversation. I was looking forward to the wedding more than anything and I was terrified that I was going to be a ball of nerves and not have a moment of enjoyment. Additionally, I felt so odd and lightheaded that I was starting to question my ability to make it through the night.

In a shocking, out of character move my Mom said she "might have something for me". The woman rarely takes a tylenol for a raging headache. This was serious business. Without hesitation I said, "bring it on".

Next up: The state of Miss Seashell at the rehearsal!


Previously in The Seashell Wedding:
One Shell of A Wedding! : Two Days Before